Bahrain - Mix of المنامة

Man, that station for the Solomon Islands had some awfully intrusive car insurance commercials. Pinky despises the advertising for that company (he must not be named.) He'll never be giving Warren Buffet a monthly payment specifically because he hates that damn lizard so much. This rant is now over.

We haven't been to the Middle East for a good long while and you know how much we love it there. There was no sarcasm there. We really love it a lot. So, y'all want to tune in to Bahrain today?

it's dinky. you might have to squint.

Only three and a half times bigger than Washington D.C., Bahrain is the smallest nation in the Gulf. There's only about a million people there, but they get 8 million tourists a year. That's a pretty massive tourist base.

It's an oil-rich country with plenty of history and Gulf glitz; there's a lot to see there.

so pretty.

Perhaps you'd like to visit the Tree of Life? It's a 400 year old mesquite tree out in the middle of nowhere in a very harsh climate. There's nothing around it but sand, the closest vegetation is miles away, and there is no apparent water source. Nothing else is growing there. Nothing but a very old and very large mesquite tree. The locals think that it's a relic of the Garden of Eden. It's a pretty big tourist draw. We would like to go to there.

we are most fond of inexplicable phenomenons.

Michael Jackson lived in Bahrain for a while. He moved there after being cleared of charges to escape the public eye for a bit at the invitation of a prince. It didn't really work out and he left with some bad blood between him and his host.

wait a second... is this awkward?

So to recap:

Oil Oil Oil Oil Oil Gulf Glitz - giant American naval base - Gulf Glitz Oil Oil Oil Oil Oil Oil Oil

Let's cut the chit-chat and enjoy the Arab music rebroadcast from the capital, Manama (المنامة). We doubt we'll hear that damn gecko out here!

Abu Dhabi Radio

You can change the channels very easily from the navigation tool at the top of the page and we recommend you play around! Ellen's partial to the Holy Qur'an station.

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Solomon Islands - Sunbathing Here We Come!

How'd you like that Chadian re-broadcast? Pretty good, eh? Ellen spent a lot of the day switching between the four channels trying to find the most ridiculous music or talk. It seemed to be a four-way tie.

OK, let's pack our bags full of sunblock and snorkel gear and head over to Oceania and tune in to the Solomon Islands-ish! It's Friday, so let's make this one last the weekend!

pardon the fuzziness... but we had to blow it up to make it relevant.

Full disclosure, this station isn't actually out of the Solomon Islands. It was made by some lady that grew up there and writes cliché poetry about it. Here's a stanza just to give you a taste:

Now the waves on the shore

Don't seem the same any more

Their stories full of grief

Are filled with a warning

About global warming and its consequences

For our people on the reef.

Wow. Annnnnnny way...

 Folks have been on the Solomon Islands since about 30,000 BCE. Wow! Imagine being a primitive human crossing all that water on just a canoe. Dang... mad props. The Europeans showed up in the mid-1500's with a Spanish crew sailing out of Peru, but the British eventually ended up in control.

warriors from the 1890's

Before Europeans brought Christianity and colonization, the indigenous population was notorious for headhunting and cannibalism. Independence came along in 1970, but a civil war erupted in the late 90's, and tensions have sporadically fired up since then.

Today, we remember the Solomon Islands mainly as a hot-spot of WWII. The battle of Guadalcanal took place there, as well as JFK's infamous torpedo boat war heroics. We hear he kept that coconut paperweight.

mmmhmm. that is one handsome dead president.

We recognize that we didn't have a lot to say about the Solomon Islands, but give us a break. It's Friday and y'all probably have better things to than sit back and relax on the beaches of the South Pacific. Hope to see you there!

Pacific Islands Radio

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Chad - Dreaming of نجامينا

Before you say anything, you're welcome for that Costa Rican station. It was awesome! That's two great stations in a row. Let's see if we can make it three...

It's Thursday and it's already been a hateful long week. We think we're in the mood for African music. So, back to the continent we go! Y'all want to tune in to Chad?

even resembles an anatomical heart...

A landlocked country with a mainly harsh desert climate, Chad's apparently been stuck with the unfortunate moniker of The Dead Heart of Africa. Doesn't exactly have the same ring as The Sunshine State.

well, it is kind of stark...

Chad is a veritable Tower of Babel with all the languages spoken there. There are over 200 ethnic groups in a population of just 10 million folks, and over 100 languages are spoken among them! We suppose that's the result of arbitrarily drawn colonial borders and unrepresentative statehood. You're begging for problems with that mix and Chad has seen plenty of them. For example, in 2008, they built a moat around their capital to protect them from rebels! That should give you a good idea of the political discourse. And, while we're on it, who the fuck builds a moat anymore?! (editors note: not enough people, in my opinion)

we can't find a picture of the moat (trust us, we're crushed, too). but here is a little glimpse of life in the capital

So, from what we can parse out, Chad is one of the poorest and most corrupt nations in the world. About 80% of the population lives on less than a dollar a day farming in a land plagued with drought and the occasional locust horde (what up biblical prophecies). Oil and cotton are the main exports and are used to fund the corrupt government, helping them fend off the various rebel groups.

omg. barf.

Chad is surrounded by nations with desperate economies, authoritarian rulers, or roiling civil wars and internal conflicts. Needless to say that these peripheral conflicts often spill over the border. Hundreds of thousands of Darfur refugees are still in Chad, and there are warnings that a genocide may yet occur within their own borders. With increasing water scarcity (look what's happened to Lake Chad!), conflicts are bound to only increase.

one of the many darfur refugee camps in chad

Though the situation seems dire there, We're sure there's a lot to love about Chad. As is true in most places, only the bad stuff get's reported.

So, let's tune in and see what amazing things we can discover about Chad. There are only about a dozen radio stations in Chad. Some of those stations are rebroadcast from international stations, and that is the case here. We'll be tuning into Africa N1 out of Paris again - but boy is it a good one!

Africa N1

Listen Here

you have to press the play button

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Costa Rica - Sizzling San Jose

Hoooo boy that Austrian station was GREAT, huh? There is a slight possibility that Ellen will never leave. 

So, are you doing anything right now? Just putting pop tarts in the microwave with the wrapper on just to see the blue lightening and stink up the cafeteria? Quit being a douchbag, dude. Why don't you come listen to Costa Rican radio, instead. Pinky picked this station for the super gimmicky but totally fun web radio player thing, plus the music's pretty good.

Are you planning on finding a new lover in Costa Rica? Apparently sweethearts call each other their media naranja which translates to "the other half of their orange". That's a nice thing to say to someone! Some close friends of ours call each other that.

orange you in love?

If you die there (or wen you die there), they bury you pretty much the day it happens. You can get embalmed, but it's really pricey. When someone dies, their close family and friends are called, and then they call the TV stations. A few times a day the TV stations cut into the broadcasts with soft music and scroll brief obituaries across the bottom of the screen. Everyone watches to see if they know anyone, and that's how you find out when folks die. Wild, huh? Imagine that you're sitting there, watching your soap opera, and suddenly you find  out by scrolling obit that your ex died. That's way better than anything Days of Our Lives can throw at you.

when Ellen googled "costa rican death announcements television," this is what came up. and who are we to argue with google? we love your creepy flesh colored beard, spencer!!

Perhaps your ex died from bullfighting. Although bullfighting is still practiced in Costa Rica, the bull itself is rarely killed. They let a bunch of dudes into the ring and they fuck with the bull, pulling its tail and swatting his balls and all the other asshole things rodeo folks do to piss them off. At least they make sure that you're sober. They recently stopped letting the drunks do it. Gorings are still a regular occurrence, so at least the bull gets to win sometimes. Plus they get to go home at the end of the day and don't have some dude slicing their spinal cord. It's really a win-win situation.

what was that rule about drunks?

Ecotourism, canopy tours, blah blah blah, we've all heard about it and are jealous of everyone who's been.

So, grab your shades, sun block, long board and throw away your watch and let's head on to the capital, San Jose! We hope you enjoy the music!

911 la Radio

Listen Here

don't get car sick watching that record spin...

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Austria - Glorious Graz!

How'd you like Liberia? It was pretty good and way upbeat! If it weren't for that one repetitive commercial, it would be one of our favorites.

Today let's tune in to Austria!

zere in ze dark green.

"Put another shrimp on the barbie, eh?" God, Pinky's seen Dumb and Dumber too many times. Kinda wish he could wipe it from his memory at this point. And, just to prove we're not total idiota, here is an audio clip to clear things up:

(Link) View more Lisa Stothard Sound Clips and Lloyd Christmas Sound Clips

Pinky whipped through Austria for a minute about 10 years ago. He doesn't really remember much about it beyond the incredible landscape and walking down a beautiful street with a bunch of cafes. He randomly picked one and tried to decipher the menu and was pleasantly surprised to find out that, as an English speaker, he could figure out a lot of it. Yay for Germanic languages! Pinky ended up getting a bratwurst or hot dog or some kind of meat stuffed into a casing. He was 16, y'all. Shut up. He saw his first Unimog there too. Needless to say, his mind was totally blown. 

what is it doing?!

Our friend Kesi had a more recent experience in Austria. You should read about it. She's kind of amazing.

OK, let's make a deal and not get into all the history that we so easily could. We all read about it in high school world history. You remember... the Hapsburgs and the treaties among creaking monarchies that dragged Europe into WWI and, let's not forget, the Von Trapp Family Singers. Let's ignore the dancing horses, too, even though Ellen totally thinks this is wild and crazy and might constitute animal cruelty. But, since we're skipping all of that we'll go ahead and get it out of the way that Austria the home of Hitler, Schwarzenegger, Mozart, and Porsche, which really shows that you can grow up to be anything that you want to kiddos.

haha! horses!

In asinine trivia, there's a tiny town of barely more than a hundred people that's named "Fucking", which is a beautiful name for a town. The road signs get stolen ALL the time by tourists. And, while you're touring, you can visit the Museum of Contraception and Abortion, and the Museum of Esperanto, as well.

water, snow, mountains, charm... it's everything asheville aspires to be!

You know what else Austria is home to? PEZ! This dude invented PEZ in the late 20's as a smoking alternative, targeting it toward adults. The dispenser was made to look like a lighter, too. They were originally minty, hence the name which is short for the German word for peppermint.

come on baby, light my fire.

Now that we know all about Austria, it's time to tune in to Soundportal, a net radio station based out of Graz. Back in 2001, Ellen was scheduled to do an exchange with another high schooler from Graz. But, September 11th happened, every parent in the world freaked out, and now she only has a story of how should could have gone to Graz and listened to pirate radio. She might still be bitter. 


Any way, you should tune in and enjoy! We've already heard some Metallica and some sweet pop tunes!

Soundportal - Netradio

Listen Here 

(Press the play button and take a deep breath. Now, let it out. It should be playing by now.)

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Liberia - Apropro for MLK Day

So, what did y'all think of Armenia? It was OK-ish... there sure was a lot of American pop music.

On this glorious MLK Day, let's tune in to Liberia!

Ellen is really bad with African geography. There are just so many countries!

Just to get you warmed up, here is a gratuitous Michael Jackson video. We lost you too soon, MJ. Too soon.

With that out of the way, Liberia (which means "Land of the Free") was founded by freed American slaves. A bunch of (mostly) Quakers started this group called the American Colonization Society, and their mission was to transport freed slaves back to the African continent where it was thought they could live better lives.

At the time (approx 1820), many abolitionists, including Abe Lincoln while he was a sitting president, thought emigration was the best option for freed slaves. They thought American society would never accept them. It's taken a very, very long time, and the good lord knows we aren't there yet. Anyway, the American Colonization Society was actively transporting freed slaves to Sierra Leone. In 1821 or so, they founded the colony of Liberia in nearby territory which became an independent republic a few decades later. 

how many pop culture references can we stretch in today's post?

There was friction with the indigenous population. Raise your hand if you're surprised. And, that conflict echoes among their descendants today. The colonists named their capital Monrovia after former president James Monroe, who'd been a large supporter. Pinky has always loved the name Monrovia. He used to go out to Monrovia, Maryland every now and then on business. It's such a pretty name. Ellen grew up next door to Mr. Monroe's hometown and loves to see Virginians in the world!

although not the most formidable of presidents from virginia, he decidedly better than all of the ones from texas. oooo, burnnn!

OK, we hate to skip so much, but let's move on up the timeline. So, there was a pretty successful American-emulated democratic rule up through the 20th century. In 1980, a coup was enacted by a guy named Samuel Kanyon Doe. Over the next decade, repression tightened and the political climate became heated enough to cause a civil war in 1989.

we know a bunch of tiny white girls who would kill for those glasses. fucking hipsters.

Charles Taylor, a former government minister, established himself as a warlord, and with the backing of Libyan dictator Muammar al-Gaddafi (who Ellen thinks looks like Fred Armisen), led an insurgency that eventually toppled the government. Taylor and his men tortured Doe to death. Taylor was elected president in '97. His slogan was "He killed my ma, he killed my pa, but I will vote for him." Daaaaaaaaaaaamn... Everyone voted for him 'cause they figured if they didn't, he'd resume the war. They were probably right. 

  

that's fred in the middle. dead ringer for muammar al-gaddafi.

Taylor did all of the dictatorial shit you'd expect: child soldiers, diamond smuggling (supposedly giving some to Naomi Campbell), backing (and allegedly directing) a nasty rebel movement in the Sierra Leone Civil War, and plenty of civilian atrocities. The complete and utter disfunction of his government led to another civil war in '99 and lasting until 2003 when Taylor was forced to resign.

campbell, taylor, and... desmond tutu?! what are you doing up in this mess?

A women's peace movement was instrumental in his deposition, forcing peace talks and creating an atmosphere for Ellen Johnson Sirleaf to become the modern, elected female head of state in Africa. Taylor has since been charged with all sorts of war crimes and crimes against humanity and is on trial in the Hague.

yay! ladies in charge! in gold lame!

One of the most interesting stories to emerge from Taylor's rule is that of his son, Chuckie. He was raised by his mom in America until he was 17 and then went to live with his dad in Liberia during the Civil War. He became head of the "Anti-terrorist unit," which was a notoriously violent. When his personal chauffeur dented his car, he ordered him beaten "till you see bones and shit." We find that particularly chilling. "Bones and shit." It's such an offhanded comment. Imagine being a kid, finding out your dad is a warlord, going over and helping him take over a country, and then torturing a nation. We're sure Freud would have something to say about all of this. Rolling Stone did a fascinating article on Chukie Taylor a while back. It's really good.

Today, Liberia is a stable democracy and, under the leadership of Ms. Sirleaf, they're rebuilding their country in a transparent, cooperative manner, admirably addressing and repairing their country's problems and deep wounds.

So, that is a lot of heavy for MLK Day. We hope you find a moment to reflect on your freedoms and remember from whence they came. Can we get an amen?

Ok, let's tune in. This seems like a great station. Hope you enjoy it!

Radio Lib

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Armenia - Inexplicable Երևան

OK, we want to apologize for that St. Kitts station. That was awful. Let's forget that ever happened and continue our journey around the world via radio waves and visit Armenia!

squeezed on in there in midst of the crazy.

Located in those politically boiling Caucuses, Armenia is a small nation of only a little over 3 million. They've got a HUGE and very vocal diaspora of about 8 million folks who've contributed a lot to modern culture. From color TV and the first cloned mammal to moon rovers and plastic surgery, including astrophysics, economics, x-rays, artificial intelligence, the Kardashians, chess masters, and so much more. There's so much that has come from the populace and descendants of such a tiny country!

 armenia's representatives to the world...

Armenia was the first nation to officially adopt Christianity as their state religion, decades before Constantine did his thing with the Roman empire and the conversion of the masses. The Romans did rule Armenia for a while there and were only one in a long string of other empires to do so. Other empires who held Armenia under their thumb: Assyria, Greece, Rome, Byzantine, Arabia, the Mongols, Persians, Ottomans, and most recently Russians.

 

armenians trading with mongols before things (inevitably) take a turn for the worse.

That diaspora we mentioned earlier is the result of encroachment by those empires. The two biggest diasporas were the most recent. The Armenians lost so much of their land to the Ottoman empire around WWI that the modern state ended up being about a sixth of its previous size. There was a nasty genocide of around a million people starting in 1915, before Mustafa Kemal Ataturk founded the modern state of Turkey.

yup, we've totally talked about this guy before, except we liked him the last time around.

The Armenian genocide was the first modern genocide and is the second most studied mass killing after the Holocaust. It's a major friction point between Armenia and Turkey. Turkey refuses to acknowledge that it occurred and gets pissed off when other nations officially recognize that it happened. The powerful Armenian diaspora lobbies the governments of the countries that they live in to recognize its occurrence. Boy does Turkey get PISSED when that happens. America is getting really, really close to acknowledging it, and Turkey is none too happy.

 get it? it's a mad turkey? ha ha.. hum. uhhhh, it's a pun.

That diaspora has a lot of sway and is integral to understanding modern Armenia. Unfortunately, we've got a lot of shit to do and can't dive into it much further. We hate that cop out, but it's true.

Briefly, we're in the capital and largest city in Armenia, Yerevan (Երևան). The city was founded in 782 BC and have been going strong for 3000 years. Sure puts American's oldest continuously inhabited city of St Augustine to shame; they're only 446 years old!

We sincerely hope you enjoy the tunes and make sure to try the apricots while you're there!

 

Radio Aurora

Get ready for some hardcore American and EuroPop - Listen Here!

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St. Kitts and Nevis - Where it is Decidedly Not Snowing

Firstly, we'd like to apologize for our recent absence... There was a snowpocalypse that pretty much owned the East Coast. Ellen was trapped under 8 inches of snow and 2 inches of ice and had to walk to the grocery (uphill both ways) to get her beer. But, the sledding has been prime!

sleddddddding!

So, back to business. What did y'all think of Lithuania? "Meh," says Pinky.

We've been thinking about what region we haven't visited in a while. Haven't been to Central or South America in a bit, but if we're planning for longevity, we've gotta stretch those out. We really need to knock out some of those island nations. Maybe we'll do a Caribbean week soon or something.

For today (blizzard of the decade, day 4) let's tune in to some island music! Wanna head to St. Kitts and Nevis? Pinky's parents like to vacation there and his mom just takes pictures of goats.

we can almost feel the tropical heat from here!

Native Americans have been hanging out on the islands for about 5,000 years. When Columbus pulled up in 1493, the Kalinago people (Carib) had been there for a few hundred years. The French and English made their way to the islands over the next couple hundred years. Unlike other islands, the indigenous population allowed the Europeans to settle there. Bad idea. They were massacred shortly afterwards. 

we don't blame those europeans for not wanting to leave

The Brits and French used the islands as the center of their Caribbean expansionist efforts. Even though the Spanish kicked them out for a minute, the British ended up taking full claim in the early 1700's. Though they're geographically super close (2 miles apart), St Kitts and Nevis were governed as two separate islands until the late 1800's. Then the British were all "This is dumb. Shack up with Anguilla." This colonial/territorial/governing arrangement lasted for a little under 100 years at which point Anguilla split off and became it's own British state (where it remains today). But St. Kitts and Nevis are still stuck together. 

i don't think you need a spyglass to see that guy's head...

Nevis claims they don't get the support they need from St. Kitts, and it seems that there's a good bit of resentment between the two. Maybe St. Kitts dumps on Nevis because they're jealous about Alexander Hamilton. He was born there around 1757 or so and ended up getting his face on the American $10 bill. We all know the federalism stuff and the duel story, so let's move on. 

just seeing his face makes us want to go buy crap at dollar general.

Nevis has tried to split off, but the referendum failed. They still are constitutionally allowed to succeed, after a few provisions are met. Will it happen? We dunno. Ok, so St. Kitts and Nevis achieved independence in 1983 (the same year we were born) and became the youngest sovereign state in the Americas. Yay for our birth year buddies!

Ok, let's tune in and see what's happening down there. Enjoy!

ZIZ Radio LIVE Stream

Listen Here!

Note from the Snowed in Editors: Do yourself a favor and just listen to another station. It started out with some decent reggae this morning, but is just awful narcissistic club music right now. Check back later in the afternoon and enjoy something else for now. We'll be in Seychelles...

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Lithuania - If Only We'd Made it to Kaunas

OH SHIT! We totally overslept!! Looks like our post-holiday coma went a little longer than expected!

It's time to get on the plane and get ourselves back into the swing of things. Y'all wanna tune in to Lithuania? Let's go!

dark green dot, here we come!

Pinky and Kesi spent a brief time in Lithuania about a year ago. After a nervous moment at the border crossing, they were let through. Ever used a bus station bathroom lit by black-light? They did, and it was weird. At that same bus station, Kesi ate one of the grosser meals Pinky's ever seen and he's eaten some bizarre shit. Pinky got a sub-par chicken sandwich and Kesi was a little jealous. This bus stop also had the exact same picture of Monument Valley in Arizona covering every surface of the wall. Poster-sized, like 40 of them. That was weird.

It was night time and they thought the bus station would be closer to town, so they weren't able to walk around Vilnius. Bummer too, cause it's supposed to be the kind of place that's just up our alley and one of the weirdest countries on earth. For example, they have a statue of Frank Zappa that was unveiled with a military band and fireworks! It's outside a gynecology clinic. Zappa never visited the country and has absolutely zero connection to it. 

"stupidity is the basic building block of the universe." - frank zappa

When the Lithuanian basketball team unexpectedly beat Russia and won the bronze in the '92 Olympics, they wore tie-dye t-shirts donated by the Grateful Dead to the awards ceremony! 

1992 was the best year ever!

And, Pinky really wanted to see Grūtas Park, unofficially known as Stalin World, where some guy took all the old Soviet statues and set them up in a park. He re-created a lot of gulag scenes in it too. There's also the hill of crosses; a tiny hill that's covered with hundreds of thousands of crosses. Crosses upon crosses upon crosses. You should look it up. It's bizarre.

teeny tiny picture, but you catch our drift.

Lithuania is a VERY proud country. At one point, on the cusp of the Renaissance, they were the largest country in Europe as the Grand Duchy of Lithuania. They're fiercely proud of that fact, and though their borders today are much smaller, they'll defend them with their lives. They fought the Nazis and the Soviets when each invaded their country. Lithuanian casualties were among the highest in Europe, from a very tiny country. 353,000 people. America lost 418,500. Lithuania lost about 90% of their Jewish population, too. When the Soviets invaded in the Baltic Offensive of '44, taking it from the Germans and re-establishing the Lithuanian Soviet Socialist Republic, they fought a 12 year guerrilla war. When the USSR's demise began, Lithuania was the first nation to declare independence while all the other nations were waiting to see what would happen.

Today, we're camped out in Kaunas, which is neither the largest city or the capital! They have the most amazing coat of arms, though. It's a bull. With a cross growing out of it's head. And, a penis. We're smitten.

Hurry up and tune in! We just heard "Memory" from the Broadway show, Cats, sung in Lithuanian. It's going to be a great day! Hope you enjoy this little hot-headed nation!

Pukas Radio

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