Austria - Glorious Graz!

How'd you like Liberia? It was pretty good and way upbeat! If it weren't for that one repetitive commercial, it would be one of our favorites.

Today let's tune in to Austria!

zere in ze dark green.

"Put another shrimp on the barbie, eh?" God, Pinky's seen Dumb and Dumber too many times. Kinda wish he could wipe it from his memory at this point. And, just to prove we're not total idiota, here is an audio clip to clear things up:

(Link) View more Lisa Stothard Sound Clips and Lloyd Christmas Sound Clips

Pinky whipped through Austria for a minute about 10 years ago. He doesn't really remember much about it beyond the incredible landscape and walking down a beautiful street with a bunch of cafes. He randomly picked one and tried to decipher the menu and was pleasantly surprised to find out that, as an English speaker, he could figure out a lot of it. Yay for Germanic languages! Pinky ended up getting a bratwurst or hot dog or some kind of meat stuffed into a casing. He was 16, y'all. Shut up. He saw his first Unimog there too. Needless to say, his mind was totally blown. 

what is it doing?!

Our friend Kesi had a more recent experience in Austria. You should read about it. She's kind of amazing.

OK, let's make a deal and not get into all the history that we so easily could. We all read about it in high school world history. You remember... the Hapsburgs and the treaties among creaking monarchies that dragged Europe into WWI and, let's not forget, the Von Trapp Family Singers. Let's ignore the dancing horses, too, even though Ellen totally thinks this is wild and crazy and might constitute animal cruelty. But, since we're skipping all of that we'll go ahead and get it out of the way that Austria the home of Hitler, Schwarzenegger, Mozart, and Porsche, which really shows that you can grow up to be anything that you want to kiddos.

haha! horses!

In asinine trivia, there's a tiny town of barely more than a hundred people that's named "Fucking", which is a beautiful name for a town. The road signs get stolen ALL the time by tourists. And, while you're touring, you can visit the Museum of Contraception and Abortion, and the Museum of Esperanto, as well.

water, snow, mountains, charm... it's everything asheville aspires to be!

You know what else Austria is home to? PEZ! This dude invented PEZ in the late 20's as a smoking alternative, targeting it toward adults. The dispenser was made to look like a lighter, too. They were originally minty, hence the name which is short for the German word for peppermint.

come on baby, light my fire.

Now that we know all about Austria, it's time to tune in to Soundportal, a net radio station based out of Graz. Back in 2001, Ellen was scheduled to do an exchange with another high schooler from Graz. But, September 11th happened, every parent in the world freaked out, and now she only has a story of how should could have gone to Graz and listened to pirate radio. She might still be bitter. 


Any way, you should tune in and enjoy! We've already heard some Metallica and some sweet pop tunes!

Soundportal - Netradio

Listen Here 

(Press the play button and take a deep breath. Now, let it out. It should be playing by now.)

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Lithuania - If Only We'd Made it to Kaunas

OH SHIT! We totally overslept!! Looks like our post-holiday coma went a little longer than expected!

It's time to get on the plane and get ourselves back into the swing of things. Y'all wanna tune in to Lithuania? Let's go!

dark green dot, here we come!

Pinky and Kesi spent a brief time in Lithuania about a year ago. After a nervous moment at the border crossing, they were let through. Ever used a bus station bathroom lit by black-light? They did, and it was weird. At that same bus station, Kesi ate one of the grosser meals Pinky's ever seen and he's eaten some bizarre shit. Pinky got a sub-par chicken sandwich and Kesi was a little jealous. This bus stop also had the exact same picture of Monument Valley in Arizona covering every surface of the wall. Poster-sized, like 40 of them. That was weird.

It was night time and they thought the bus station would be closer to town, so they weren't able to walk around Vilnius. Bummer too, cause it's supposed to be the kind of place that's just up our alley and one of the weirdest countries on earth. For example, they have a statue of Frank Zappa that was unveiled with a military band and fireworks! It's outside a gynecology clinic. Zappa never visited the country and has absolutely zero connection to it. 

"stupidity is the basic building block of the universe." - frank zappa

When the Lithuanian basketball team unexpectedly beat Russia and won the bronze in the '92 Olympics, they wore tie-dye t-shirts donated by the Grateful Dead to the awards ceremony! 

1992 was the best year ever!

And, Pinky really wanted to see Grūtas Park, unofficially known as Stalin World, where some guy took all the old Soviet statues and set them up in a park. He re-created a lot of gulag scenes in it too. There's also the hill of crosses; a tiny hill that's covered with hundreds of thousands of crosses. Crosses upon crosses upon crosses. You should look it up. It's bizarre.

teeny tiny picture, but you catch our drift.

Lithuania is a VERY proud country. At one point, on the cusp of the Renaissance, they were the largest country in Europe as the Grand Duchy of Lithuania. They're fiercely proud of that fact, and though their borders today are much smaller, they'll defend them with their lives. They fought the Nazis and the Soviets when each invaded their country. Lithuanian casualties were among the highest in Europe, from a very tiny country. 353,000 people. America lost 418,500. Lithuania lost about 90% of their Jewish population, too. When the Soviets invaded in the Baltic Offensive of '44, taking it from the Germans and re-establishing the Lithuanian Soviet Socialist Republic, they fought a 12 year guerrilla war. When the USSR's demise began, Lithuania was the first nation to declare independence while all the other nations were waiting to see what would happen.

Today, we're camped out in Kaunas, which is neither the largest city or the capital! They have the most amazing coat of arms, though. It's a bull. With a cross growing out of it's head. And, a penis. We're smitten.

Hurry up and tune in! We just heard "Memory" from the Broadway show, Cats, sung in Lithuanian. It's going to be a great day! Hope you enjoy this little hot-headed nation!

Pukas Radio

Listen Here

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Belgium - We Finally Embed!

You guys have fun in Trinidad and Tobago? If it weren't for the DJ's it would've been good. What is it with horrible intrusive DJ's in the Caribbean?

OK, let's hop across the Atlantic and visit Belgium!

Ellen always gets Belgium mixed up with The Netherlands. So much for being a genius mastermind.

Pinky bought some tulip bulbs there once and brought them all the way back to the US in his luggage (which was/is probably totally illegal now that we think about it), but then he forgot to plant them. They hung on the wall forever and then got tossed in a corner and turned into this slimy mass of plant matter in the garage. Pinky really should have been a better steward. And, in his defense, he was 16 and folks don't really care about tulips all that much at that age. Now someone is gonna make a two-lips joke and we'll all laugh. Hahahahaha! Ok, shut up.

So, Belgium is famous for beer, chocolate, waffles, and french fries. We have compiled a small photo tribute to our more favorite famous Belgian items:

Uhhhhh, those last two are totally American... but are the only way most Americans experience Belgian delicacies. We're not proud.

Aaaaaanyway, here's a Belgian oldies station. There's no way they'll play Katy Perry, right? Right?! And, in case you forgot... w.e. h.a.t.e. k.a.t.y. p.e.r.r.y.

See you all on Monday!

PS: This embedded player isn't working. Boo. Try THIS!

Montenegro - Beautiful Беране

Whoa. Sorry about accidentally maintaining radio silence yesterday... life got away from us! Oops!

Didja have fun in Tonga on Wednesday? What's that you say? Not enough accordion for ya? Well have we got the remedy for that! Let's head over to Montenegro!

this map has the rail lines on it!

Reportedly the tallest people in the world, Montenegrin men are 6'1" on average, and women are 5'7". Must be tough to fit everyone in. Even the map gets a little cramped! Cartographers have apparently always hated Montenegro because they can't fit all the letters in it's small space on the map. Pinky's read in three places (one being a US government website) that the river Bojana is the only river in the world that flows in both directions, but we're dubious of this claim, as A) it seems impossible, and B) all the other articles about the river make no such claim. And, you'd figure that would be something to boast about. So, why aren't they shouting from the rooftops? Whatever. We're over it.

what? living here is possible? bring it on!

Montenegro translates to "Black Mountain", which is fun since we've all spent so much time in Black Mountain, NC. I wonder if they have a sister city established. We like it when cities do that. Perhaps they could shack up with Zhabljak, the highest town in the Balkans and a tourist destination. Montenegro itself has become one of the fastest growing tourist hot spots in the world!

now, those are some BLACK mountains!

Montenegro has a history of being swallowed by empires. It started with the Romans, then the Byzantines, followed by the Serbians, then the Ottomans, then became part of the Venetian Republic towards the end of that state's lifespan, then the Austrians took over. Montenegro had a run of independence in the mid-late 1800's, establishing a monarchy. It then joined the Kingdom of Yugoslavia after WWI where it apparently had a lot of say in the government; it was then annexed by Mussolini during WWII, and then joined the Socialist Federal Republic of Yugoslavia after the war, firmly under the USSR's thumb. They had a union with Serbia for a while, but referendums never really let it come to full fruition, and Montenegrin independence was firmly established a few years ago. Will it last? Who knows?

Djurdjevi Stupovi Monastery, Berane, Montenegro

Let's tune in to Radio Berane broadcasting from Berane (Беране) situated in the mountains of eastern Montenegro. Seems like there's some kind of speech going on right now, but hopefully they'll return to the fun stuff soon. Enjoy!

Radio Berane

Listen Here

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Iceland - Rockin' Reykjavík

So Panama would have been good, but those DJ's and their canned laughter significantly lowered their score.

Alrighty, this post was originally scheduled to go live on National Coming Out Day (10/11), but obviously we're about two months late (what else is new?). To honor (albeit belatedly) those who have been brave enough to come out out the closet, we're going to head over to Iceland, the only country with an openly LGBTQ head of state! Yay for Jóhanna Sigurðardóttir!!

go gettem, lady!

Pinky's ex-boyfriend stopped by there a year or two back. Our friends Mica and Colin went earlier this year, and Pinky's old roommate from Maryland went over with his horrible Rumpelstiltskin friend. You know, that half-French girl with the fake accent, distracting mole, clunky shoes, and unjustified air of superiority? We would not have wanted to be on that trip. Those two sucked.

this might be the only place in the world colder than Ellen's office!

Aaaaaaaanyway, Iceland was settled by the Vikings only about 1,000 years ago. They lived under the Norwegian and Danish crowns until the end of WWI. However, the independence process was well in motion before the war. Jared Diamond wrote a pretty interesting synopsis of their historical era in his book Collapse, which is worth a read if you've got the time.

oh my gawwwd!

Iceland is one of the most interesting cases of the recent economic crisis. They had built a pretty healthy economy based on fishing and farming, but in the mid-90's, they joined Norway, Switzerland, and Liechtenstein in the European Free Trade Association, which allowed them to join the European market without EU membership. Iceland was then able to expand beyond their traditional industries without being politically tethered to Europe, and they spawned these wonder-boy banks that shot their GDP through the roof. Unfortunately, a lot of those loans were shady, and they sure had made a lot of them. These banks' debt was about 6 times the GDP of Iceland! Because their debt was so high, when the crisis hit, Iceland's central bank couldn't guarantee them, and the shit hit the fan. Without EU membership, there was no one set up to bail them out, and they had to go begging to the IMF and a handful of European countries. There was a ton of red tape and lots of strings attached, but they staved off complete collapse. Not to imply that their economy isn't fucked, just that they haven't needed to resort to cannibalism.

oh my gawd.

The government was essentially replaced under public pressure. A lot of banking executives and high government officials are facing criminal charges. Iceland has a huge debt shackled to its feet. But since Iceland's population is comparable to that of Toledo, OH, we're talking about a debt that comes out to $160,000 a person. This wouldn't be too scary for a developed nation, but that $160,000 is just from the crisis and does not include current sovereign debt. In comparison, the American bank bailout would have cost us each about $2,300, but the banks have already repaid the majority of their bailout.

ohhhhhhh my god.

This sucks because Iceland was a really cool case study with an interesting tax structure and a burgeoning service economy, but because of the work of just a handful of people, a thousand years of a conservative life style was shirked and they fucked over the entire country. The rest of the population has voted not to pay the debts back, because they had nothing to do with it. Of course, you can argue that they benefited from the GDP increase during the financial heydays and certainly from the prevention of national collapse, but they're still pissed, and the decision is theirs alone. Not ours. The credit markets will certainly make their opinion known.

OK, so today we're in the capital city of Reykjavík. We don't have a lot to say about the city other than it's name is one of Ellen's most favorite words to say. You're totally going to love this station! It's got some hard rock, straight up pop, Christmas music (for those of you who celebrate as such), Icelandic news, and general awesome-ness. Have fun in the great white north, y'all! 

Ras2

There is a big play button in the middle of the page that you cannot miss!

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Netherlands - Awesome Amsterdam

Well, did ya have a good turkey day? Did you sleep late and watch the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade promptly followed by a dog show? Did you eat a year's supply of cranberry relish in one sitting? Did you don your full body armor and brave the Black Friday crowds? And, did you have fun in Equatorial Guinea? Whew! We thought we were the only ones!

Let's all go to the Netherlands! This one came to us from Ellen's dad through an international radio station suggester article thing that you should totally check out. And though it'll be decidedly more Western than what we've been hearing lately, we bet we'll have a great time. It was suggested in a national publication, so it's gotta be pretty good, right?

It's time to get your geography on.

We really hope we don't hear a bunch of American pop, but we fear it may be inevitable. A pretty big portion of the music played on this station is supposed to be in Dutch. It is awesome that a country that small can provide that volume of material. The state of Florida has more people than the Netherlands! Pinky likes the cadence of the Dutch language, and Ellen loves M.C. Escher, who is Dutch.

aside from Don Quixote, who doesn't love windmills?

Pinky went to the Netherlands when he was 16-ish. While he was there he wore leather pants, hugged a random bride, kissed a nanny goat on the lips, accidentally knocked some guy off his bike and he said "SHIESSEEEEEEEEER!!!" as he fell (which he still repeats to this day), salivated over Van Goghs, asked some fella "wooden shoe rather be Dutch?", and pleads the 5th for the rest of his time there. Sounds perfectly wonderful!

We'll also throw this in here just because we can:

Anyway, let's tune in and see what's happening in Amsterdam which is, you guessed it, the capital and largest city in the Netherlands. Enjoy your Monday with music from the Netherlands!

Radio 100% NL

Listen Here

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Romania - Blaring București

What did you think of Norway? We really didn't expect to hear the auto tuned version of the "hide ya kids" guy, but what was really bizarre was the "Back to the Future 1" dialogue laid over the "Brokeback Mountain" guitar theme. Bizarre... All in all, it was a pretty decent station that wasn't dripping with global pop. We have to admit that the metal hour was a little trying.

OK, let's go to Romania today!

This is another one of those countries that Pinky has a weird obsession with. Pinky tried to get our friend Hart to learn this song. They didn't do so well. And, he basically just annoyed Kesi by singing it incessantly.

Pinky and Kesi had planned to rent a car and drive around the Transylvanian countryside, but ran out of time and weren't able to make it to Romania from Przemyśl. Sigh... Did you know that the only other Transylvania in the world is in our very own North Carolina? Fun fact, huh?


Anyway, there are parts of Transylvania that if you drive two miles off the highway, you'll be the only car and people will stare Stare STARE at you. Everyone out there still use horses. There are also supposed to be parts of it that don't even use currency! They just barter! Our friend Jess Wooten was in the boonies when she visited Romania a few months ago. We wonder if she saw any of that.

no cars here! just vamps!

Also, Pinky's brother has worked a few shows there and has spent a couple of weeks in the capital city of Bucharest (București). He took a Bucha-nap as soon as he arrived. He said you can get ANYTHING there. Prostitutes and coke dealers line the streets and no one gives a fuck. He wasn't a big fan of the country, but hates working in eastern Europe anyway. We've read in travel guides that you have to watch out for the roaming packs of dogs in Bucharest. Yikes.

ROAManian dogs. (Please, pardon the pun.)

They do have the largest civilian government building in the world though, a relic of insane communist (in name) dictator Nicolae Ceauşescu, a guy you should totally look up. He was executed during the violent revolution of '89, the only eastern-bloc country to do so to their leader, and boy did he have it coming.

*** Click here for an intriguing article by George Friedman with Stratfor Global Intelligence on the geopolitics of Romania and its options during the current Russian resurgence. ***

Palatal Parlamentului - it's GIANT!

Anyway, enough about bands of wild dogs and crazy communists! Let's tune in to Bucharest!

Radio Mures

For this station, go to the red section of the tool-bar area where it says "Live" and click the "high stereo" button. It seems a little hit and miss, so if this station ends up sucking, try this one instead:

Horion

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Norway - Trondheim the Terrific

We're really glad we got that nice little peak into the hidden kingdom. Pinky worked so hard to find a viable Bhutanese station. High point: the singing contest between random people with beautiful voices calling in and singing a capella over the phone. Low point: that completely unexpected hour of American pop country music. All in all, we dug it.

We haven't been to Scandinavia for a while, so what do you say we head to Norway? 

Although there's a little Norwegian Kroner (the safest currency in the world!) rattling around in Pinky's wallet right now, our collective only experience with the country is watching it out of the plane window. There was a lot of patchwork water down there. 

Our friend Kesi went kayaking through the fjords earlier this summer. Did you know they can fit a cruise ship into those?! Kesi said it was incredibly beautiful and that it was the most amazing trip she'd ever been on and that she wouldn't be the least bit surprised if she'd turned around and seen a unicorn. We'd say that's a pretty good endorsement.

we're pretty sure there is a unicorn in there somewhere...

OK, so today's station comes to us from Trondheim, which breaks our recent trend of listening to stations from capital cities. Trondheim has been the Viking capital of Norway since approximately 997 an the actual capital until 1217. The city has survived several major fires and was even occupied by the Nazis from 1940 - 1945. Sweet Jesus Pete, that's enough for one city, dontcha think? Anyway, now Trondheim is the educational center of Norway and is home to Norwegian University of Science and Technology.

it's just so blinking quaint!

Also, Trondheim sits on the Trondheimfjorden and is bisected by the River Nidelva. It just looks so inviting!

we want to go to there!

Let's tune in to Radio Revolt and see if we can hear any unicorns. We bet if we do that they'll sound something like this:

Enough mythical creatures already! Tune in! PS: Ellen can say "I love you" in Norwegian (jeg elsker deg). You should be impressed. She can also say cold in "cold" in Hindi (thand). Both of these are courtesy of her college roommate, Caitlin.

Radio Revolt Live

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Monaco - Music of the Mediterranean

Man, all that accordion music in Macedonia was pretty great, huh? You don't hear it incorporated into pop too often.

OK, what say we stay in Europe and head to that 'ol city-state Monaco? The second smallest country in the world behind the Vatican, Monaco is home to just 33,000 people. We know folks who went to colleges that size. But, with no personal income tax, the majority of the population are wealthy foreigners using it as a tax haven. And, if we were rich enough to need tax havens, that's where ours would be!

Ellen's a total sucker for the Mediterranean

Monaco has been ruled by the House of Grimaldi since 1297, and though it seems that they've been invaded every time there's been unrest in the region, the Grimaldi's rule on. Want to know how the Grimaldis came to power? The patriarch Francesco, called il Malizia or "the Cunning," disguised himself and others as monks and took over the fortress with swords hidden under their habits. Sweet! It's kind of like Monegasque Monk instead of a Trojan Horse...

what a swanky coat of arms with those guys in skirts dancing with knives

Monaco became a constitutional monarchy in the early 20th century though, and in 1962 they started to let women vote! Good for them - that's a little late. Just sayin'.

Can we take a second and realize how small this place is? Less than a square mile! You could cross the entire country on a pogo-stick!!! They've lost a lot of land over the years to France. In the 20th century they started building out into the sea via landfills. Tell you what though, they utilize every good bit of land available and build an AWESOME road course for the Monaco Grand Prix and the Monte Carlo Rally though. Those are consistently two of the best races in the world. And, in high school Ellen was aces at those races on the PlayStation2. What a champ!

cars and yachts? Pinky's and Ellen's joint gay/not gay wet dream!

Well, we're gonna have a lot of American and Euro-pop on here, but it seems to be a pretty decent selection. They've played Cee-Lo and Mika, among others, already this morning. We'll see... 

Did you know that Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise? Just found that out. Good thing to know.

Radio Monaco

Click the "Ecouter Radio Monaco" in the upper left corner, then push play in the little window that pops up.

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Macedonia - We're Blaring Битола

Whatcha doin? Just typing 5318008 into your calculator and turning it upside-down so it says BOOBIES huh? Us, too.

yup. this is what we get paid to do all day...

Man, after listening to that awful music, we have even more sympathy for the folks in Burma.

Hey! Let's go to Macedonia!!! You just missed some awesome accordion tunes set to a dance beat. F.O.R.R.E.A.L.

So after the crumbling of the Ottoman Empire, Macedonia eventually ended up becoming part of Yugoslavia. And, then when Yugoslavia imploded with the dissolution of the Soviet Union, Macedonia was the only country to declare independence from Yugoslavia with no bloodshed. That's pretty amazing, huh? We all have so many associations of the Balkans with violence, it's nice to know that relative peaceful separation is possible. There was a tiny civil war ten years later, but hey, these things happen, amiright? Amiright? 

Anyway, Greece has been pissed ever since Macedonia declared independence mainly because the country shares it's name with a region of Northern Greece. That's where Thessaloniki is located, Greece's second-largest city and the birthplace of Mustafa Kemal Atatürk, the almost deified father of modern Turkey. 

and who wouldn't love this man? he looks like mr. magoo (without his glasses)

Buuuuuuuuut we digress... That naming argument has gone all the way to the UN and significantly impacted trade between the two states. It's still unresolved.

What else? Hmm... Mother Teresa and Alexander the Great were both from here, but we don't think they went to the same high school or anything.

Bitola High School Class of  MCCCXLVII

Most Likely to Be on Your 10th Grade World History Final

So! Pour yourself a glass of rakia (ракија) and let's tune into Радио 105 Бомбардер! For those of you who are a little rusty with your Macedonian, that's Radio 105 Bombader, broadcasting out of Bitola (Битола) in the south western corner of the country.

Radio 105 Bombader

And, be sure to check out their webcam, which Ellen likes better than the radio anyway.

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Belarus - Musical Мiнск

Have fun in Taiwan? It was meh, although it was a nice way to easy our broken bodies back into the work week.

Hey! It's been a while since we've heard over the top Russian pop. Howsabout we visit Belarus? The land of the annoying visa process that fucks up Kesi and Pinky's travel plans... (epic story, but they were totally sidetracked)

The states surrounding Belarus (or Беларусь in Belarussian) have fought over and occupied it for centuries. The current approximate borders emerged early last century in the aftermath of WWI. It was kinda kicked around as somewhat of a puppet border state (it's flat all the way to the Kremlin from mainland Europe, and Moscow wants to control as much of that area as possible) and was absolutely ravaged in WWII. One third of the population was killed and over two thirds of their cities were destroyed. Imagine trying to rebuild after that.

Stalin and Khrushchev poured resources into Belarus, turning it into a major manufacturing center for the USSR in their attempts to limit European influence. They stymied the use of the Belorussian language, sent in plenty of ethnic Russians, and kept Belarus under the Kremlin thumb.

Moving on, independence rolled around in the early 90's with the fall of the USSR. And, a few years later Lukashenko was elected and turned the fledgling state into a de facto dictatorship. That's where it remains today. However, it's pretty much running a three-legged race with Russia because of treaties calling for a monetary union, single citizenship, and common foreign and defense policy. Always a bridesmaid, never a bride...

when we googled "leschenko and medvedev" this is the picture we got. maybe this helps to explain Bela-Russian relations...

Good news though! They're good with the gymnastics and the hammer throwing! And, always make for a good bet at the Olympics. (Is it an Olympic year yet, or what?)

So, bust out your rusty Russian, your wodka, and your Russian Orthodox tendencies and prepare for some eastern European goodness!

Well, it's too early for wodka here, but not in Minsk (Мiнск)! Enjoy!

1st Channel of Belarusian Radio

Tune In

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