Lithuania - If Only We'd Made it to Kaunas

OH SHIT! We totally overslept!! Looks like our post-holiday coma went a little longer than expected!

It's time to get on the plane and get ourselves back into the swing of things. Y'all wanna tune in to Lithuania? Let's go!

dark green dot, here we come!

Pinky and Kesi spent a brief time in Lithuania about a year ago. After a nervous moment at the border crossing, they were let through. Ever used a bus station bathroom lit by black-light? They did, and it was weird. At that same bus station, Kesi ate one of the grosser meals Pinky's ever seen and he's eaten some bizarre shit. Pinky got a sub-par chicken sandwich and Kesi was a little jealous. This bus stop also had the exact same picture of Monument Valley in Arizona covering every surface of the wall. Poster-sized, like 40 of them. That was weird.

It was night time and they thought the bus station would be closer to town, so they weren't able to walk around Vilnius. Bummer too, cause it's supposed to be the kind of place that's just up our alley and one of the weirdest countries on earth. For example, they have a statue of Frank Zappa that was unveiled with a military band and fireworks! It's outside a gynecology clinic. Zappa never visited the country and has absolutely zero connection to it. 

"stupidity is the basic building block of the universe." - frank zappa

When the Lithuanian basketball team unexpectedly beat Russia and won the bronze in the '92 Olympics, they wore tie-dye t-shirts donated by the Grateful Dead to the awards ceremony! 

1992 was the best year ever!

And, Pinky really wanted to see Grūtas Park, unofficially known as Stalin World, where some guy took all the old Soviet statues and set them up in a park. He re-created a lot of gulag scenes in it too. There's also the hill of crosses; a tiny hill that's covered with hundreds of thousands of crosses. Crosses upon crosses upon crosses. You should look it up. It's bizarre.

teeny tiny picture, but you catch our drift.

Lithuania is a VERY proud country. At one point, on the cusp of the Renaissance, they were the largest country in Europe as the Grand Duchy of Lithuania. They're fiercely proud of that fact, and though their borders today are much smaller, they'll defend them with their lives. They fought the Nazis and the Soviets when each invaded their country. Lithuanian casualties were among the highest in Europe, from a very tiny country. 353,000 people. America lost 418,500. Lithuania lost about 90% of their Jewish population, too. When the Soviets invaded in the Baltic Offensive of '44, taking it from the Germans and re-establishing the Lithuanian Soviet Socialist Republic, they fought a 12 year guerrilla war. When the USSR's demise began, Lithuania was the first nation to declare independence while all the other nations were waiting to see what would happen.

Today, we're camped out in Kaunas, which is neither the largest city or the capital! They have the most amazing coat of arms, though. It's a bull. With a cross growing out of it's head. And, a penis. We're smitten.

Hurry up and tune in! We just heard "Memory" from the Broadway show, Cats, sung in Lithuanian. It's going to be a great day! Hope you enjoy this little hot-headed nation!

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