Too Poor For Passports: Fiji

Guatemala

? Meh. It was OK. It's kind of hard to listen to that much dance music before 9am.

Let's head to

Fiji

today! Here's a map to give you some perspective:

Once known as the Cannibal Islands, European sailors used to steer around

Fiji

and keep on goin'. Cannibalism was rampant and an everyday practice, integral to their culture. Apparently "Eat me!" was a proper ritual greeting from a commoner to a chief. One of these chiefs, Ratu Udre Udre, holds the Guinness World Record for being the world's "most prolific cannibal." In the 1800's, he consumed between 872 and 999 people, keeping a stone for each one, which were piled beside his tomb when he died. Guess he didn't get eaten. Apparently, he'd take a few days and eat every part of them, and was quite fond of the head. Woah... (Here is Ellen's PSA about spongiform encephalopathies: don't eat other people's brains! You WILL get Kuru or Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease and WILL be miserable before you die.)

that's a lot of rocks.

By the 1800's, Western settlers had gained footholds in the islands and power was being consolidated among the warring tribes. Around 1870, Ratu Seru Epenisa Cakobau was able to defeat other chiefs and, with the help of settlers, set up a monarchy. America had recognized his throne's claim long before Fiji's other Ratus had ceded it.

Ratu Seru Epenisa Cakobau

This relationship kinda fucked him over when Fiji held him responsible for burning down the American consul's house. It had been set alight by a different chief's tribe, oops. He couldn't pay the reparations they demanded, and fearing invasion and annexation (and also with the hopes they'd bring civilization and Christianity) he ceded the islands to the English.

He must've worked out pretty gnarly deal with them, as the British "adopted a policy disallowing the use of native labor and no interference in their culture and way of life." How often do you hear that about the indigenous population of a colony? Virtually never. The British brought in a bunch of Indian labor for their sugar plantations instead. Don't think all was gravy for the Fijians, though. The British brought Small Pox with them, wiping out a third of the native population.

yes, please!

That influx of Indian labor would one day lead to civil unrest. Fiji carried on as a British colony for about 100 years until it was granted independence in the early 70's. A series of coups followed in the 80's as Fijians perceived their government to have too much Indo-Fijian influence. A whole bunch of those Indo-Fijians emigrated at this point, and it was probably a good idea, as two coups have occurred in the past 10 years, along with a military takeover and a constitutional crisis. Oh boy. Political and ethnic tensions are still high.

that is all we want in our lives!

With all of that said, Fiji is an amazingly gorgeous place with natural wonders abounding. Also, Fiji Water is Ellen's favorite mainly because of it's perfect pH. **apparently Fiji Water is the devil's spawn. Ellen now only drinks tap water.** But, that is neither here nor there...